5 months and waiting

We officially hit the 5 month hurdle! It is so nice to see the numbers on that ticker going up every day! I found out that we have already moved from #27 to #26 - in one week!
We are making progress on our dossier. However, there is one glitch in my two week plan. Our doctor is on vacation for 10 days. So we have to wait until 2/27 for our physician letter. In the mean time we can have the tests completed (the physician statement must state that we are free from infectious diseases so we need to have updates to our HIV tests. John has them done frequently for the military, but it has been awhile since I was tested. Plus doctor will want to see the results for himself. ) Everything else is coming together. Oh, except of course our I171 approval. I may end up submitting the dossier without that approval. The instructions I have from our USCIS office is to wait until 90 days to contact them. It will be 90 days in 10 days. I will call on day 91.

I went to an open house last week for a nursery school that has been highly recommended. There are 11 classrooms and the classes range from 12 month olds to kindergarten. Everything was so tiny- the chairs, the tables, the toilets and sinks. So many fun toys too! They offer French classes, cooking, computers, and dance classes for kids 3 and over. I like the variety. I have to admit it was a little odd being at the school - kind of made the idea of being a parent real. We so much want to be parents, but after wishing for something for so long, reality requires some getting used to. I felt totally unprepared on what to look for in a nursery school. It all looked good to me (low ratio of children to adult, friendly, intelligent, caring teachers and teacher assistants, clean facilities, set schedules including indoor and outdoor (when appropriate) playtime (yet schedule can be flexible if need be), healthy snacks, naptime, storytime, supervised interaction with older children, naps are on low cots and the kids utilize their own linens that are required to be laundered on a regular basis, the staff waters down the juice (for the parents who choose to allow their kids to have juice- I particularly like this one since I'm super conscious of the sugar in the food and beverages we consume), the staff's own children have attended the nursery school and I have a reliable reference. Other than those things, I'm not sure what I should look at to evaluate the school properly. I am happy that I have some more time to read more parenting books. I'll have to pick one up on evaluating schools. Thus far, the focus of our reading has been on adoption, multi racial families, attachment, but basic parenting skills need to be addressed. I know we will figure it out, many parents do. I just want to make sure we are in the group that does. I really believe that we will - John and I compliment one another. But anyone who really knows me, knows that I need to focus on something.

We can put our names on the waiting list at the nursery school since we really do not know when our child will be home and we do not know when he or she will even be ready for the program. So that is what we will do. There is a developmental program in the mornings and child care in the afternoons. The schedule we will be interested in is still up in the air. We really will need to wait until our child is home and evaluate him or her to proceed further than "on a waiting list." Every child is different and develops at a different pace. I'm happy the school realizes that - another point for them.

News from Holt

I received an unexpected phone call at work on Wednesday from Holt. Unfortunately I was out of the office and when I returned, I heard the voice mail from Minnie. Panic! I thought they were calling to tell me that due the uncertainty of the renewal of the MOU, we should look into other programs. Believe me at one time or another I have looked into all their programs. Since day one, our biggest hurdle has been finding programs with flexible family requirements. There are only two other country programs with Holt that we would be "accepted" and both are not accepting applications from families for children under 3 years old. I would be open to a three year old, but I was hoping for our first child to be younger- simply because we are not parents yet. It is going to be a huge learning experience for us and it seems like it would be helpful to have some parenting experience first before bringing home a 3 year old and trying to parent him/her. By 3 years old, they are already a little person. Really, it scares me that I might not be prepared for an older child right now and I want to make sure that we do not take on more than we are equipped to handle. I believe that our second child will be an older child when we bring him or her home. John and I are both on the same page with that.

Anyhow, I called Minnie back and she was not calling to suggest we look into other programs. She was calling to tell me that we are now #27 on the list (Yay!) and that the agency has decided to change the process a bit. We are to compile our dossier and submit ASAP. The dossier will be submitted to Vietnam and translated. When we are referred a child, the dossier will already be in Vietnam. Hmm. Not what I expected her to say, but OK. It is some progress. It gives me a project to work on for the next 2 weeks. That is the deadline I have given myself. So I am going thru my list this weekend of what my steps are. First step is to contact the Secretary of the State on Monday to find out if I need county certification prior to state certification.

I have a few thoughts on the agency's motivation to change the process but really in the end, it does not matter why the change. The fact is the process has changed, and I am going to put our dossier together in 2 weeks and then go back to waiting.

Waiting and hoping

We received an update from our agency to let us know that applications continue to be accepted for the Vietnam program. They continue to encourage the US and Vietnam governments to resolve the issues of concern that will ensure ethical adoption practices in Vietnam.

Today I am optimistic that a new agreement will be reached. There are 7 months left until the agreement expires and I am hopeful that will be sufficient time for resolution.

In the mean time, I will continue to prepare as I have been - reading books concerning attaching in adoption, transracial issues, tips on parenting, the guide book from my agency, and waiting for the approval for our I600A. Oh, and going thru the book of 60,000 baby names.