I took the morning off of work to finish up our dossier. A dossier consists of employment letters, physician letters, clearance from our local police, marriage certificate, copies of our passports, photos for our visas, commitments, applications, acceptance of adoption, photos of us, and our home, and our homestudy. The documents are notarized then certified by the state. The documents then go to our agency for review, after which the documents are translated into Vietnamese and sent to Vietnam for processing. Typically this is done after the acceptance of a referral, however, our agency has changed the process and therefore we are completing this task in advance of a referral.
I am still waiting for John's employment letter from Ohio however I decided to go ahead and send in everything else now. So I went to the police department and picked up the clearance letters that we requested last Wednesday after we went to the doctor's office for our physician letter. After the police department I picked up some pictures from Walgreen's and then decided that one of the pictures would be included in our dossier instead of one I had already taped to the paper. Then on to Secretary of State. It was so nice to find out that Michigan has created "Secretary of State Supercenters" where people can go to have documents authenticated. Instead of driving an hour to Lansing, I drove 10 minutes to the closest "Supercenter." I was in and out in 30 minutes. Then off to Kinko's to make 3 copies of everything. Then I went home to redo the photos and organize the sets of documents and type up a quick cover letter to Holt. Then I was off to UPS to send the paperwork. It will arrive at Holt Thursday morning by 10:30AM. After they review it, they will forward for translation and then it will go to Vietnam. At that point we will be DTV- Dossier to Vietnam. It is so wonderful to have the dossier complete (almost).
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
5 months and waiting
We officially hit the 5 month hurdle! It is so nice to see the numbers on that ticker going up every day! I found out that we have already moved from #27 to #26 - in one week!
We are making progress on our dossier. However, there is one glitch in my two week plan. Our doctor is on vacation for 10 days. So we have to wait until 2/27 for our physician letter. In the mean time we can have the tests completed (the physician statement must state that we are free from infectious diseases so we need to have updates to our HIV tests. John has them done frequently for the military, but it has been awhile since I was tested. Plus doctor will want to see the results for himself. ) Everything else is coming together. Oh, except of course our I171 approval. I may end up submitting the dossier without that approval. The instructions I have from our USCIS office is to wait until 90 days to contact them. It will be 90 days in 10 days. I will call on day 91.
I went to an open house last week for a nursery school that has been highly recommended. There are 11 classrooms and the classes range from 12 month olds to kindergarten. Everything was so tiny- the chairs, the tables, the toilets and sinks. So many fun toys too! They offer French classes, cooking, computers, and dance classes for kids 3 and over. I like the variety. I have to admit it was a little odd being at the school - kind of made the idea of being a parent real. We so much want to be parents, but after wishing for something for so long, reality requires some getting used to. I felt totally unprepared on what to look for in a nursery school. It all looked good to me (low ratio of children to adult, friendly, intelligent, caring teachers and teacher assistants, clean facilities, set schedules including indoor and outdoor (when appropriate) playtime (yet schedule can be flexible if need be), healthy snacks, naptime, storytime, supervised interaction with older children, naps are on low cots and the kids utilize their own linens that are required to be laundered on a regular basis, the staff waters down the juice (for the parents who choose to allow their kids to have juice- I particularly like this one since I'm super conscious of the sugar in the food and beverages we consume), the staff's own children have attended the nursery school and I have a reliable reference. Other than those things, I'm not sure what I should look at to evaluate the school properly. I am happy that I have some more time to read more parenting books. I'll have to pick one up on evaluating schools. Thus far, the focus of our reading has been on adoption, multi racial families, attachment, but basic parenting skills need to be addressed. I know we will figure it out, many parents do. I just want to make sure we are in the group that does. I really believe that we will - John and I compliment one another. But anyone who really knows me, knows that I need to focus on something.
We can put our names on the waiting list at the nursery school since we really do not know when our child will be home and we do not know when he or she will even be ready for the program. So that is what we will do. There is a developmental program in the mornings and child care in the afternoons. The schedule we will be interested in is still up in the air. We really will need to wait until our child is home and evaluate him or her to proceed further than "on a waiting list." Every child is different and develops at a different pace. I'm happy the school realizes that - another point for them.
We are making progress on our dossier. However, there is one glitch in my two week plan. Our doctor is on vacation for 10 days. So we have to wait until 2/27 for our physician letter. In the mean time we can have the tests completed (the physician statement must state that we are free from infectious diseases so we need to have updates to our HIV tests. John has them done frequently for the military, but it has been awhile since I was tested. Plus doctor will want to see the results for himself. ) Everything else is coming together. Oh, except of course our I171 approval. I may end up submitting the dossier without that approval. The instructions I have from our USCIS office is to wait until 90 days to contact them. It will be 90 days in 10 days. I will call on day 91.
I went to an open house last week for a nursery school that has been highly recommended. There are 11 classrooms and the classes range from 12 month olds to kindergarten. Everything was so tiny- the chairs, the tables, the toilets and sinks. So many fun toys too! They offer French classes, cooking, computers, and dance classes for kids 3 and over. I like the variety. I have to admit it was a little odd being at the school - kind of made the idea of being a parent real. We so much want to be parents, but after wishing for something for so long, reality requires some getting used to. I felt totally unprepared on what to look for in a nursery school. It all looked good to me (low ratio of children to adult, friendly, intelligent, caring teachers and teacher assistants, clean facilities, set schedules including indoor and outdoor (when appropriate) playtime (yet schedule can be flexible if need be), healthy snacks, naptime, storytime, supervised interaction with older children, naps are on low cots and the kids utilize their own linens that are required to be laundered on a regular basis, the staff waters down the juice (for the parents who choose to allow their kids to have juice- I particularly like this one since I'm super conscious of the sugar in the food and beverages we consume), the staff's own children have attended the nursery school and I have a reliable reference. Other than those things, I'm not sure what I should look at to evaluate the school properly. I am happy that I have some more time to read more parenting books. I'll have to pick one up on evaluating schools. Thus far, the focus of our reading has been on adoption, multi racial families, attachment, but basic parenting skills need to be addressed. I know we will figure it out, many parents do. I just want to make sure we are in the group that does. I really believe that we will - John and I compliment one another. But anyone who really knows me, knows that I need to focus on something.
We can put our names on the waiting list at the nursery school since we really do not know when our child will be home and we do not know when he or she will even be ready for the program. So that is what we will do. There is a developmental program in the mornings and child care in the afternoons. The schedule we will be interested in is still up in the air. We really will need to wait until our child is home and evaluate him or her to proceed further than "on a waiting list." Every child is different and develops at a different pace. I'm happy the school realizes that - another point for them.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
News from Holt
I received an unexpected phone call at work on Wednesday from Holt. Unfortunately I was out of the office and when I returned, I heard the voice mail from Minnie. Panic! I thought they were calling to tell me that due the uncertainty of the renewal of the MOU, we should look into other programs. Believe me at one time or another I have looked into all their programs. Since day one, our biggest hurdle has been finding programs with flexible family requirements. There are only two other country programs with Holt that we would be "accepted" and both are not accepting applications from families for children under 3 years old. I would be open to a three year old, but I was hoping for our first child to be younger- simply because we are not parents yet. It is going to be a huge learning experience for us and it seems like it would be helpful to have some parenting experience first before bringing home a 3 year old and trying to parent him/her. By 3 years old, they are already a little person. Really, it scares me that I might not be prepared for an older child right now and I want to make sure that we do not take on more than we are equipped to handle. I believe that our second child will be an older child when we bring him or her home. John and I are both on the same page with that.
Anyhow, I called Minnie back and she was not calling to suggest we look into other programs. She was calling to tell me that we are now #27 on the list (Yay!) and that the agency has decided to change the process a bit. We are to compile our dossier and submit ASAP. The dossier will be submitted to Vietnam and translated. When we are referred a child, the dossier will already be in Vietnam. Hmm. Not what I expected her to say, but OK. It is some progress. It gives me a project to work on for the next 2 weeks. That is the deadline I have given myself. So I am going thru my list this weekend of what my steps are. First step is to contact the Secretary of the State on Monday to find out if I need county certification prior to state certification.
I have a few thoughts on the agency's motivation to change the process but really in the end, it does not matter why the change. The fact is the process has changed, and I am going to put our dossier together in 2 weeks and then go back to waiting.
Anyhow, I called Minnie back and she was not calling to suggest we look into other programs. She was calling to tell me that we are now #27 on the list (Yay!) and that the agency has decided to change the process a bit. We are to compile our dossier and submit ASAP. The dossier will be submitted to Vietnam and translated. When we are referred a child, the dossier will already be in Vietnam. Hmm. Not what I expected her to say, but OK. It is some progress. It gives me a project to work on for the next 2 weeks. That is the deadline I have given myself. So I am going thru my list this weekend of what my steps are. First step is to contact the Secretary of the State on Monday to find out if I need county certification prior to state certification.
I have a few thoughts on the agency's motivation to change the process but really in the end, it does not matter why the change. The fact is the process has changed, and I am going to put our dossier together in 2 weeks and then go back to waiting.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Waiting and hoping
We received an update from our agency to let us know that applications continue to be accepted for the Vietnam program. They continue to encourage the US and Vietnam governments to resolve the issues of concern that will ensure ethical adoption practices in Vietnam.
Today I am optimistic that a new agreement will be reached. There are 7 months left until the agreement expires and I am hopeful that will be sufficient time for resolution.
In the mean time, I will continue to prepare as I have been - reading books concerning attaching in adoption, transracial issues, tips on parenting, the guide book from my agency, and waiting for the approval for our I600A. Oh, and going thru the book of 60,000 baby names.
Today I am optimistic that a new agreement will be reached. There are 7 months left until the agreement expires and I am hopeful that will be sufficient time for resolution.
In the mean time, I will continue to prepare as I have been - reading books concerning attaching in adoption, transracial issues, tips on parenting, the guide book from my agency, and waiting for the approval for our I600A. Oh, and going thru the book of 60,000 baby names.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Department of State issues warning
Rather discouraging, but expected-
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/intercountry/intercountry_3939.html
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/intercountry/intercountry_3939.html
Saturday, January 19, 2008
How it began
We have known that we would adopt our children since before we were married in 2004. We waited a couple of years -just to enjoy life as a married couple without children. Then we began the adoption journey in 2006.
There were country programs to research, adoption agencies to investigate, references to contact and all of this took considerable time. In early 2007 while John was serving his 6 month deployment in Kuwait, we finally decided to move forward with Holt International. Holt has been helping to build families for over 50 years and continues humanitarian work in numerous countries. Every comment on the agency was that it is highly ethical, very reliable, and considered one of the best choices (if not the best choice in agencies). Holt works in various countries, and has adoption programs in about 10 countries. We felt very confident that we made the right decision with Holt. (We still believe this today).
We chose the Vietnam program. Various factors were taken into consideration for choosing a program. There are many requirements that we as prospective adoptive parents (PAP) must meet to be accepted into a program. Of the few programs we were "accepted," Vietnam was the program of choice for us. Although the children are generally in orphanages, they tend to be healthy. In addition, the program has been reopened since 2006 and appears to be relatively stable. Our agency, Holt, first tries to place the children with relatives. If that is unsuccessful, they attempt to place the children with families domestically. If that is unsuccessful, then they work to place the children internationally. From what I have read, this is not done by all agencies. As a result, the wait for a referral from Holt is longer, and the children may be slightly older when referred than with other adoption service providers. However, I would prefer a longer wait for a referral since I am confident that by the time PAPs receive that referral, many attempts have been made to place the child with biological family members or domestically. Unfortunately there are instances of unethical behavior with international adoptions when children are placed despite not truly being legally available for placement. I have not read or heard about an intance where Holt has been associated with such a situation.
After identifying our Agency and program, we submitted our application in March 2007. I completed the 8 page agreement, sent it to John in Kuwait, along with a DVD on Holt International. He signed it, had it notarized and returned it back to me in the states. We had hoped to be officially accepted and moving along with our family assessment (homestudy) by the time he returned in May 2007. We did submit our application to Holt and we were officially accepted into the program on April 5, 2007. We also had to apply to a cooperating homestudy agency, since Holt does not have a branch office in our state. John finally came home on May 11, 2007! He was gone 8 months exactly. He had left on September 11, 2006. I didn't waste any time scheduling our first home study visit. We met with our social worker at the cooperating agency on Monday May 14 for our first 3 hour interview. In preparation for the meeting, we had to complete a 15 page questionnaire on ourselves. From this Angela asked us questions to try to have a good understanding of us, how we would be as parents, what our motives were for adopting, whether we had a good support system, and did we understand the issues with adoption, and trans-racial adoption and were we prepared to address these issues. We had a second interview on May 21st, and a third on May 29th. During these visits, we supplied her with the names and addresses of 3 people (not relatives) to contact for references. Questionnaires were sent out and each person was asked to answer honestly. We also had to collect information on our finances, birth certificates, marriage license, employment verification, police clearance for our local police station, medical exams, letters from physicians, and verification that our water was safe for drinking. Then we waited for our home visit on July 11, 2007. We spent the weekend prior to her visit organizing the basement and upstairs. The night before we divided up the chores and cleaned the house. In the morning I made coffee, baked a coffee cake and prepared a fresh fruit salad. Angela came over at 9am and left after 12pm. The coffee cake went over really well with Angela. I'm sure the scent of freshly baked goods helped. She toured our house, interviewed each of us separately, and then interviewed us together. When she left, we were done with our part of the homestudy. Now we had to wait for Angela to finish composing the assessment. This took much longer than we anticipated. It was sent to Holt on September 5, 2007. Holt called us on September 13, 2007 and told John that we were officially on the waiting list for the referral of a child from Vietnam and we were number 46 . He called me at work to let me know. We received the official letter in the mail the next day.
Initially we were instructed to wait 3 months before completing the I600A, which is the Application for Advance Processing for Orphan Petition. Then we were told we could do it immediately after acceptance of homestudy. I waited until November 10, 2007 - 2 months after acceptance. After submitting the application, we were then notified of a fingerprint appointment on December 15, 2007. We are waiting to receive our approval. According to our Holt guidebook, it can take 60-90 days to clear our fingerprint by the FBI. If we do not hear something by March 15, 2008, I will contact the USCIS. Other than receiving the approval, we really just sit back and wait for a referral. We were told 12-16 months for a referral.
On December 12, 2007, we received our quarterly update from Holt and were informed that we had moved to #33 on the "list." Since then I know of one person on the "list" that has accepted a referral. Most likely there have been other referrals, but if the PAPs are not posting on the Holt forum, I am unaware of it. From the timelines of other PAP, approximately 4 referrals are given a month. This could mean by now we are around 25 on the "list." If referrals continue as they have, we could be matched as early as August 2008. Wow!
There were country programs to research, adoption agencies to investigate, references to contact and all of this took considerable time. In early 2007 while John was serving his 6 month deployment in Kuwait, we finally decided to move forward with Holt International. Holt has been helping to build families for over 50 years and continues humanitarian work in numerous countries. Every comment on the agency was that it is highly ethical, very reliable, and considered one of the best choices (if not the best choice in agencies). Holt works in various countries, and has adoption programs in about 10 countries. We felt very confident that we made the right decision with Holt. (We still believe this today).
We chose the Vietnam program. Various factors were taken into consideration for choosing a program. There are many requirements that we as prospective adoptive parents (PAP) must meet to be accepted into a program. Of the few programs we were "accepted," Vietnam was the program of choice for us. Although the children are generally in orphanages, they tend to be healthy. In addition, the program has been reopened since 2006 and appears to be relatively stable. Our agency, Holt, first tries to place the children with relatives. If that is unsuccessful, they attempt to place the children with families domestically. If that is unsuccessful, then they work to place the children internationally. From what I have read, this is not done by all agencies. As a result, the wait for a referral from Holt is longer, and the children may be slightly older when referred than with other adoption service providers. However, I would prefer a longer wait for a referral since I am confident that by the time PAPs receive that referral, many attempts have been made to place the child with biological family members or domestically. Unfortunately there are instances of unethical behavior with international adoptions when children are placed despite not truly being legally available for placement. I have not read or heard about an intance where Holt has been associated with such a situation.
After identifying our Agency and program, we submitted our application in March 2007. I completed the 8 page agreement, sent it to John in Kuwait, along with a DVD on Holt International. He signed it, had it notarized and returned it back to me in the states. We had hoped to be officially accepted and moving along with our family assessment (homestudy) by the time he returned in May 2007. We did submit our application to Holt and we were officially accepted into the program on April 5, 2007. We also had to apply to a cooperating homestudy agency, since Holt does not have a branch office in our state. John finally came home on May 11, 2007! He was gone 8 months exactly. He had left on September 11, 2006. I didn't waste any time scheduling our first home study visit. We met with our social worker at the cooperating agency on Monday May 14 for our first 3 hour interview. In preparation for the meeting, we had to complete a 15 page questionnaire on ourselves. From this Angela asked us questions to try to have a good understanding of us, how we would be as parents, what our motives were for adopting, whether we had a good support system, and did we understand the issues with adoption, and trans-racial adoption and were we prepared to address these issues. We had a second interview on May 21st, and a third on May 29th. During these visits, we supplied her with the names and addresses of 3 people (not relatives) to contact for references. Questionnaires were sent out and each person was asked to answer honestly. We also had to collect information on our finances, birth certificates, marriage license, employment verification, police clearance for our local police station, medical exams, letters from physicians, and verification that our water was safe for drinking. Then we waited for our home visit on July 11, 2007. We spent the weekend prior to her visit organizing the basement and upstairs. The night before we divided up the chores and cleaned the house. In the morning I made coffee, baked a coffee cake and prepared a fresh fruit salad. Angela came over at 9am and left after 12pm. The coffee cake went over really well with Angela. I'm sure the scent of freshly baked goods helped. She toured our house, interviewed each of us separately, and then interviewed us together. When she left, we were done with our part of the homestudy. Now we had to wait for Angela to finish composing the assessment. This took much longer than we anticipated. It was sent to Holt on September 5, 2007. Holt called us on September 13, 2007 and told John that we were officially on the waiting list for the referral of a child from Vietnam and we were number 46 . He called me at work to let me know. We received the official letter in the mail the next day.
Initially we were instructed to wait 3 months before completing the I600A, which is the Application for Advance Processing for Orphan Petition. Then we were told we could do it immediately after acceptance of homestudy. I waited until November 10, 2007 - 2 months after acceptance. After submitting the application, we were then notified of a fingerprint appointment on December 15, 2007. We are waiting to receive our approval. According to our Holt guidebook, it can take 60-90 days to clear our fingerprint by the FBI. If we do not hear something by March 15, 2008, I will contact the USCIS. Other than receiving the approval, we really just sit back and wait for a referral. We were told 12-16 months for a referral.
On December 12, 2007, we received our quarterly update from Holt and were informed that we had moved to #33 on the "list." Since then I know of one person on the "list" that has accepted a referral. Most likely there have been other referrals, but if the PAPs are not posting on the Holt forum, I am unaware of it. From the timelines of other PAP, approximately 4 referrals are given a month. This could mean by now we are around 25 on the "list." If referrals continue as they have, we could be matched as early as August 2008. Wow!
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